The Fatigue of Expectations
The 21st century brought much to many of our lives, but the stress and anxiety is truly unparalleled.
I often think to myself, what did we do in the 20th century that was so different and then it hits me every time, we were largely offline.
The human interactions and expectations were profoundly different.
I’m pretty nostalgic on the slower pace of life to somehow expect a little bit of time to handle or prepare for the unexpected. But that pretty much died with the last party in 1999.
The world is and seems faster and faster because we are all not only connected but instantly connected to the point of overbearing and rather intrusive with our lifestyle and ongoing expectations of others.
Some people expect to see you online all the time everywhere. If they see some bizarre light indicating that you are online, baby they come digitally chasing! Some expect you to check email frequently (like they do, and all the damn time). Some expect when they text that you will be immediate in the response, while others expect when they call you that you are free because it’s them, and you just can’t be doing anything else.
Meanwhile the growing great many, including those with nothing to do but hover over other’s lives online, well they just expect you to stay on the phone/computer, on the social media scroll and to stay up on everything and everybody, underscore again, all.the.time.
If you are not, then you must get or be ever ready for endless “what’s wrong?” “You’re weird” or “You are tripping.”
My anxiety with people, expectations, and emails has gone through the draconian roof in the past decade, and especially in the past 5 years which felt like I always existing on the edges of some hell on earth that I could never seem to get out of with crazy life circumstances all around me.
My life stayed upside down living in the shadow of change and death’s evolution, and yet, many really didn’t care because their needs came first, and only. In fact, their actions revealed their estimated beliefs that, their needs should’ve always been my top priority.
Kind of hard with no break.
But what if you have 1000s of those expectations in multiple directions? It’s painfully overwhelming
Everyone just can’t be first!
I can’t jump for everything and everybody, its human impossible and more, damnit I don’t want to.
I used to love email, but I hate it now. If merely because everyone wants you. Screw that, the real truth is everyone wants you for something, some random ass question, some freebie, some rant, some bizarre unclear prediction demand, some superficial need, some grown-up need, some lingering expectation, some fact check, or some — you are going to listen to me right now — unending chat.
It’s just relentless.
Then the saying no and creating boundaries is impossible when the pace is immeasurable and the demands even louder. It’s like your choice and your voice is just drowned out — all the time and forever. Doesn’t matter if you say you have a lot going on, need a moment, etc the sympathy lasts two seconds before those needs and relentless expectations of others creeps right back in; ever so smooth and just as innocent.
If you dare say no, refuse, decline the need/urgent request/expectation in any way you are seen as unloyal to the team, a jerk, or too caught up in yourself.
Some of us are drowning in the volcano of other’s incessant needs, folks.
I’ll end sharing this new found millennial reality.
In one scenario a person refuses to find their own ride to an event while expecting you to do it and to worry over it for them like you are their secretary, then another (relentlessly on the phone) feels quite free to text not only asking where the place is and the directions, but then they show up unwilling to contribute in any way shape or form because their saga is worse than everyone else. Oh and they sit on the phone the entire time seemingly bothered that the event is happening.
Every bit of all of it stresses me out because people need, and many more don’t and won’t try for themselves first.
How and will anyone stay sane with this onslaught of convenient and quite common expectations barely 19 years in this century?
It’s not just the world we live in, but the century we are stuck in with over 980 years to go. This new century brings with it the coming and unending rise of emotions, debates, expectations, savvy charm, and alas the dual self that can border on many many many versions of self/identity.
In reality, we are getting just a glimpse at more that will indeed arise, including those who can’t be bothered to do even a little more.
There’s not enough meditation in the world to calm the ocean of expectations of others, but my daily meditation is for peace, compassion in, through, and among us all in the everyday living and everyday survival. It is like a jungle sometimes that just won’t quit and will try to take us under.
Know your limits and express your truths of treatment or this century and those in it will pick you apart through the needy expectations until there is no more you.
Peace and Progress,
TheCosmicDoc
Thecosmicdoc@gmail.com
